1: He won’t be going into the fire with you, I will. So leaving a few likes on my posts might help persuade me to drag you out if you go down.
2: My memes are better. You know they are. Stop pretending.
3: You’re doing it on purpose because you know it aggravates me. You know you are.
4: Crew continuity.
5: Studies show supporting your firefighter over your driver leads to increased big ol’ buck kills and big ol’ fish catches.
6: You as the captain set the example for how your crew is treated. If you do it, other people might start to as well. You could accidentally ruin a man’s Facebook reputation by making the wrong decision.
7: It hurts my feelings.
8: I have always supported you in your bee business even though I had numerous opportunities to betray your secrets to smaller bee farmers, like Wallybees.
9: I’m growing on you. You already admitted it.
10: Joey is unpredictable. He could turn on you any day. He looks like the kind of guy who’d betray you for a soft taco. Seriously, I bought him a fireman water hose nozzle for Christmas and look what he’s doing to me. I, however, am loyal to the end. Take my side. You won’t regret it.
